Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
