k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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