It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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