We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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