so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
