very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did I show you my penis last night?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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