Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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