C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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