Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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