great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
