It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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