I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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