i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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