apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
