i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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