I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
