Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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