I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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