Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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