i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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