How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
