whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
