I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
