its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
