So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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