I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The struggles of a small town man whore
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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