Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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