you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
