Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
