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i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
