why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
