sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
