he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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