He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
