Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
