You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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