Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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