I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
