i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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