i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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