My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My life is pants optional.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
