Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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