It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
