was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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