Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
