She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm at about main and main street
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
