maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
