I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
