How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
