I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
