He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize