My hair reeks of homosexuality.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
